Hey, I get it. You’re a dedicated board member and you are invested all the way from your hair follicles to your bunions in your nonprofit organization’s mission. You want everyone to know how awesome your nonprofit is. For whatever reason, what comes naturally is to emblazon your mission statement everywhere you can: annual reports, brochures and, in a streak of misinformed enthusiasm, your website homepage.

Oh, no. No, no. You are sorely mistaken there. Your mission statement does not belong on your homepage. I would argue that thing shouldn’t be within throwing distance of your website. Your site is not a place where you need to talk about how you’re meeting your organizational vision. In fact, the words “vision,” “mission statement” and “statement of purpose” have no business anywhere on your website.

Why? Because nobody cares. I’m not trying to be mean here, there’s just no other way to say it. I guarantee the people you’re serving care more about what you’re doing for them than looking at your gobbledygook mission statement.

I’ll tell you now that no pregnant teen, no neglected pet, no activist, congregant, health worker, educator, mentor, counselor or any other type online audience member visiting a nonprofit’s website ever needs to know the mission statement. Not one!

I’m writing to you directly, dear board member, because you’re the unseen reverser of many a good decision about website homepages. I know this because in my work at a web development firm, I lead our clients through a painstaking process of identifying the most important information for the homepage. We look for something that will keep them there longer than 10 seconds. Too often a board member steps in during final approval to insist on the mission statement going front and center. So back we step.

Listen, I’m not a board member. I don’t know what goes on behind doors when choosing a mission statement. It could be a mixed martial arts battle over which words to choose (“innovation” or “enrich”? “Potential” or “realize”?). You might have bloody lips and bruises that prove your mix of bizpeak is the best. Respect, man. That’s got to be tough.

Still, though. It doesn’t change that no one cares.

So for pity’s sake, pretty please stop insisting your mission statement appears anywhere on your website homepage.

Respectfully yours,

Frustrated web developers everywhere

Be a better blogger

Here’s a nauseating mix of nonsense terms that are far too common on the web, in blogs, in e-mail newsletters, in online training or in writing in general. They’re collectively called “Frankenspeak,” according to Ann Handley and C.C. Chapman, authors of the book Content Rules. The term is described on the Content Rules book website as “convoluted text that doesn’t sound like it was spoken by a human, but instead sounds like it was created in a laboratory.”

Handley and Chapman have launched a campaign to ban these words and phrases from “marketing, sales, corporate communications, business schools, blogs and boardrooms.” Handley reveals what she considers the 10 most horrendous examples on the MarketingProfs Daily Fix Blog. Take note whether you’re a blogger or in charge of writing anything, and never use these phrases again:

1. Impactful
2. Leverage
3. Synergy
4. Revolutionary (or innovative)
5. Email blast
6. Proactive
7. Solution
8. Buy-in (or other mashed up words like mission-critical or best-of-breed)
9. Run it up the flagpole (or other ridiculous corporate-speak phrases like “eat your own dogfood” or “at the end of the day”)
10. Nazi (when not actually describing a Nazi member, i.e., “brand Nazi”)

Looking for more advice on writing better? Check out 10 Commandments of Writing for the Web and request our free Perfect Blogging Checklist.

Win a Copy of Content Rules

Contest time

[Update! Congratulations to Julie, who won the drawing for a signed copy of Content Rules by Ann Handley and C.C. Chapman. This contest may be over, but you're still welcome to keep sending examples of frankenspeak.]

Make the leap from marketing-speak to respectable publisher on the web by following the advice in Content Rules, which you can win as part of Talance’s Customer Appreciation Month festivities. We’re taking the chance to say thanks for letting us work with you on your web and e-learning design and development. Entering is easy: just tell us below in the comments your favorite example of Frankenspeak, and your name will automatically go into the hat for the book drawing.

Note: If you want even more hand-holding, you should check out our grammar gaffes contest, where we’re giving away two hours’ free communications consultation with Kyla Cromer.

Deadline for entries is Jan. 30, 2012. We’ll pick one winner at random from all entries on Jan. 31, 2012 and will notify the winner via e-mail. You must leave your name and a correct e-mail address to qualify.

Or, Utilizing Effectuated Methodologies (What?)

Kyla Cromer

Guest post by: Kyla Cromer

If what I see surfing around every day is any indication, many people have a hard time writing in a clean, clear way, especially for the web. There aren’t any tricks to it, but here are some key concepts I try to use:

1. First things first. Decide what to say and make the most important points first, in case your reader gets bored or distracted and wanders off mid-read. We all do it.
2. Prepare for scanning. An oldie but goodie: use subheadings, bullets, and numbered lists when you can, in case the reader is skimming. We all do that, too. (More on why we scan.)
3. Cut ruthlessly. When reviewing a draft, imagine you’re a cranky, very impatient person – your great aunt Edna, say – and ask, “So what?” after reading each bit. If there isn’t a good answer, cut it.
4. Think small. Don’t use big words when small ones will do. They slow things down and increase the likelihood your reader will go find something better to do. “Gigantic” is more evocative than “big,” but “utilize” isn’t better than “use.”
5. Write what you know. Avoid words like “evocative” if you don’t know what they mean. There are many free dictionaries on the web.
6. Keep it basic. Skip the trendy terms and expressions, like “planful,” or “that said.” They can have more than one meaning, or be just plain wrong. Some readers will stop to ponder, be confused, or even go look it up. Keep them with you!

All of these points assume you will take time to write a draft or two. Or three. Do it! If possible, have someone else read your draft, too. If you can’t do that, take a long break – preferably overnight – and you’ll likely notice things that are unclear or unnecessary, and catch a mistake or two.

Last, notice I said, “key concepts I try to use.” Don’t drive yourself crazy – or someone writing for you – chasing perfection. One can’t effectuate that no matter what methodology is utilized.

Garbled Grammar Contest

Contest time

[Update! Congratulations to Michael, who won the drawing for a free consultation from communications consultant Kyla Cromer. The contest may be over, but you're still welcome to keep sending your favorite pet peeves. It just feels good to vent.]

Need help with your copy? You can win a free clear-writing or site-review consultation as part of Talance’s Customer Appreciation Month, courtesy of writing and online communications consultant Kyla Cromer. Just add your favorite grammar pet peeve (sentences that end in prepositions, anyone?) to the comments below, and you’ll be entered into a drawing to win.

Note: You can pick up more tips on terrible writing with our 10 Horrid Words contest, where you can win a signed copy of the excellent book Content Rules, written by Ann Handley and C.C. Chapman.

Deadline for entries is January 2, 2012. We’ll pick one winner at random from all entries on January 3, 2012 and will notify the winner via e-mail. You must leave your name and a correct e-mail address to qualify.

BY KYLA CROMER

Kyla Cromer is a writer and editor who works on projects on and off the web, uses various types of social media, blogging and web content management platforms, and offers website consulting. She also provides tech support house calls for little old ladies in her neighborhood. Reach Kyla through KylaCromer.com, Twitter @kylacromer, LinkedIn or by emailing kyla@kylacromer.com.

Customer Appreciation Month = Par-TAY!

We’re letting the deals flow through the whole month of December, because it’s Customer Appreciation Month at Talance.

Why? Oh, just because we love you. From time to time we like to come up with excuses for expressing our gratitude for your support, loyalty and general fandom.

A month of fun-days

Sounds like fun, right? Here’s what we’ve got lined up:

December 2

Garbled Grammar Contest

Tap into your inner curmudgeon and share your favorite mixed metaphor, mysterious company tagline or other language gaffe. You’ll be entered to win a free clear-writing or site-review consultation from writing and online communications consultant Kyla Cromer. (Kyla’s current favorite: “Qwest is becoming CenturyLink. Two companies, stronger connected.”)

December 9

Cutest Mug Ever and Gift Card

Share where you find design inspiration, and you’ll receive a gift card via e-mail. One lucky entrant will receive a limited edition Talance travel mug. Man, these things are cute.

December 16

Teach Beyond Your Reach Drawing

Enter to win a free copy of Robin Neidorf’s acclaimed book about e-learning Teach Beyond Your Reach: An Instructor’s Guide to Developing and Running Successful Distance Learning Classes, Workshops, Training Sessions and More. All you have to do is tell us about your favorite training activity.

December 23

Drawing for a free SEO analysis

Tell us what you plan to do to make your website more findable on the web, and pick up nine quick tips for improvement. We’ll select one entrant to win a free SEO analysis and report – a $600 value!

December 30

Frankenspeak Contest with the Content Rules team

Share the words and phrases that you’d like to ban from marketing, sales, corporate communications, business schools, blogs and boardrooms, and you’ll be entered to win a copy of Content Rules, by Ann Handley and C.C. Chapman. Ann is the Chief Content Officer of MarketingProfs and C.C. is the Founder of Digital Dads.

Logistics

Here’s how it’ll work. Every week we’ll publish a new special offer on the blog either from us or one of our trusty partners. And, because we appreciate future customers too, we’re making each offer available to anyone, whether they’ve worked with us before or not.

A new contest opens up every single week of December on the blog and runs for 30 days. Specific details about each offer will be posted with each post, so make sure you’re checking back for updates every week. You can also subscribe to the RSS feed (not sure what an RSS feed is?) or sign up for our Weekly Deal E-mail list so you don’t miss a thing.

Keep in the loop

Each week’s treat will debut on our blog, but we’ll send notifications also on our Twitter account and on our Facebook page to learn more. So, while you’re thinking about it:

Follow us on Twitter.

Like us on Facebook.

Sign up for our Weekly Deal E-mail list

Excited? We are too! From all of us at Talance: thank you!

[This little gem is the e-mail newsletter our subscribers just received. Want a slice for yourself? Sign up now.]

The more you know about the people who visit your website, the better. Creating a profile of the people who visit your organization site can help you make better decisions about what you can do for them.

Your website should be the central repository for this research. Here are a few tools you can add to your existing website to compile info on your users.

Feedback forms.

A simple feedback form can gather so much. Tuck these around your website soliciting comments, and you’ll start learning more about who your people are.

Surveys.

If you want serious feedback, host a survey. If you build this into your website, you can keep names, contact information and responses local to your website rather than a third-party service. You can also set it up so you receive e-mail alerts every time someone submits a response.

E-newsletters.

E-newsletters are good sources of information as well as good ways to deliver targeted information to your subscribers. Make sure you have a sign-up form on your website as well as archives.

Call (888) 810-9109 or e-mail if you want demos or pricing.

August Birthday Goodie: Free Webinar

We’re halfway through our 10th year and still celebrating. For August, we asked you what you wanted for a freebie, and you spoke. You want a crash course on how to write for the web. We’re taking registrations through August, so sign up now for this handy session on how to fine-tune your writing to appeal to online readers.

Keep, Cut or Kill: Writing for the Web is Sept. 2, 2010 at 2 p.m. Eastern.

>> Register now!

1. Thou shalt break up long pieces of text with bullets, for it is easier to scan that way.
2. Thou shalt use short sentences, even if it feels thou art using more periods than commas. Punchy maketh for better reading.
3. Thou shalt bow down and worship thine spell checker.
4. Honor the inverted pyramid style of writing. It hath helped journalists for decades for good reason.
5. Useth not more than one idea per paragraph. Readers never readeth carefully enough to catch more than one.
6. You shalt not make wrongful use of verbs. Choose active verb construction rather than passive.
7. Thou shalt cut everything you write in half. Shorter articles art better.
8. Thou shalt use highlights, such as bolds and hyperlinks, to call attention to important words.
9. Thou shalt not be creative with sub-headings and instead use clear ones. They aren’t the place for cuteness.
10. Useth lists and numbers to organize ideas into an easy-to-read format (cf. 10 Commandments).

Birthday Cake Cupcake by clevercupcakes, on Flickr

Writing is hard work! Make sure your blog posts aren’t tarnished by easily avoidable mistakes. Fret no longer with our free Perfect Blogging Checklist.

>> Get a copy of our Perfect Blogging Checklist now!

Tell your friends and colleagues to get a copy, and you can be reading better blogs too.

It’s all in celebration of Talance’s 10th anniversary. Check back every month of 2010 for a new birthday goodie.

[Image: Flickr user clevercupcakes]

[This little gem is the e-mail newsletter our subscribers just received. Want a slice for yourself? Sign up now.]

The best websites are organized websites. Plan your pages with a content analysis before you write one word. Here’s how to start:

Define your writing style.

You might appear in some of the most distinguished academic publications in the nation, but is that what your website visitors read? If they’re teens looking for activism opportunities, probably not. Think about the writing style (serious, academic, slangy, sensational) they’re most likely to respond to before you start to write.

Create categories.

Divide your existing or to-be-written pages into main categories. They may align with your menu options, but don’t think too much about that yet. Just group pages into the most important categories. Better to be general at this early stage than overly specific.

Make a content inventory.

Take a close look at the pages you already have and decide if they fit into your categories. If there are gaps, plan for new pages. Add all pages – existing or planned-for – into a spreadsheet. Add columns for categories, intended audience members, who’s responsible for writing each page, importance, topics, keywords or anything else you might notice.

This kind of analysis takes work, but it’s the best way to know that you’re saying what you need to say. It will also help you enlist the right authors and give you a clear understanding of the most vital – and outdated – information on your website.

The sorry truth about your carefully crafted website copy is that people aren’t really reading it. People scan web pages very quickly, and they only pick up bits of information from a few key places, namely top left.

For you, it means you should think like a resume writer when you go to put words on your site:

• Use bullet points. Like the ones here. Isn’t it easier to scan?
• Use bold to set off paragraphs and sentences. Again, it snags your eye as you scan downward.
• Use information-carrying words at the beginning of paragraphs

Overall, emphasize quality over quantity. As beautiful as the writing is, most people simply don’t read it.